sabishibunny

this is a humble, humble request. STOP MAKING F'N WWII FPS games, move one! we don't need call of Duty allied front: Army cook in africa edition or whatever else the gaming world is trying to milk from World War 2. UNless there is something uber remarkably different about your engine for gameplay STOP IT!

So I've been gettin out and about a bit more irl and online trying to make a few more friends, crush a few wretched rumors wafting about. Even been getting some mad writing in which has really made the bun feel great. A bit down I've lost a few watchers but I endure and what not. All in all I can't really complain. Well I COULD but that doesn't solve much now does it? Got my submission all set for megamorphics,  hehe I laugh a bit right now because it's amazing what one person's words can do to help ya along *pokes Chipotle

There, a piccy ^^; Happy now?

Bleh, Firefox crashed as I wrote this, but to those of you who labeled me as some emo whore ^^; I do have to ask, have you ever spoke to me longer than 3 seconds to get to know me? I had an incident today where, as weird as it felt, one of my biggest nay sayers actually paused long enough in their own selfish agenda and judgmental mindset to actually do just that, offering an apology as we spoke, which was...kinda weird. I think I mentioned it being akin to Fred Phelps visiting a gay soldiers grave to offer honest, heart felt respects. It was sureal, and a budding friendship came of it.

If one person can over come a misunderstanding and actually man up or in this case woman up and try to figure someone out, rather than go by hearsay, it gives me a bit of hope for other goobers I see, pal around with etc

So, its kinda another emo journal with a happy ending. Never realized how...therapeutic a good cry was for ones mind until I did it. Feel a lot better and things seem to fit together a lot better now

Okay so, problem. Someone I really dig as a friend, seems to have become more and more avoidant of their old crew. Opting to hang out with a buncha folks and act like their old friends don't exist, or at best, exist when their new folks ain't around. How do you handle this? I mean yeah I'm all for branching out, but not at the cost of hurting older friends who've helped and stood by you

Am I the only bunny disturbed by this?

Your result for The Can You Kill a Man? Test...

Natural born.

Take The Can You Kill a Man? Test at HelloQuizzy

So I've finally gotten the urge to write again, maybe something fetishy along the lines of muscle or macro. Just not sure which, or if I should do both ^^; any suggestions or ideas?

Poor little guy only has 3 days

There ain't nobody, asking me how I've been There ain't nobody, that would name me, as a friend
There ain't nobody, that's dropping by, to say hi There ain't nobody, that's caring whether I
Live or die I have nobody, to tell about, my growing angers I have nobody, to tell about me,
Following strangers There ain't nobody, making sure I'm takin all of my pills There ain't nobody,
Slowing me down and keeping me still,
I'm truly alone...

They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can
Only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so
Long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the
Man's mind is gone.

There ain't nobody, telling me, not to jump off. There ain't nobody, telling me, not to chop
Your block off. I get so bloody, I ruin all of my clothes. I get so bloody, I sit in, the dark
Alone. I have nobody, to tell about, my dark fantasies. I have nobody, to tell about, my dark
Realities. There ain't nobody, around me, nobody wanna be friends. I get so bloody, all on me,
The mess never ends. I'm truly alone...

They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can
Only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so
Long, before the man's mind is gone. They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the
Man's mind is gone.

I walked into a super K, and went into the back. I started askin questions checkin out the
Chainsaw rack. They had a test model, i pulled the cord and got it runnin. Turned the blade on
The kid workin and blood started gunnin. "What the fuck am I doing?" I dropped the shit and
Started cryin. I made it down two aisles before some hero clotheslined me. I got up, grabbed a
Shovel, and stabbed him in the gut. I pulled it out and hammered across the back of his nug. I'm
Hearing sirnes going off, its no bluelight specials. I turned murderer cavin in to daily life
Pressures but fuck that now all ya'll gonna know me. See me on TV and be like "Look there go my
Homie." I'm more than lonely, I'm lost, lives are the cost. I just beat some bitch in the head,
Stabbed her twice and took off. They can't find me, I'm hidin in the flannel coat rack. I jump
Out and attack, and put a gash in your neck. I finally made it to the front door, and to the
Parking lot. That's wen i got shot alot I got got. Police with bullets and more bullets, pluggin
Me deep. I'm seein flashes, hearing screamin and its all over me. I see a crowd of people bein
Held behind the police tape. All watchin me die, I think i made no mistake. I finally got some
Recognition, dying on my knees, ready for hell because compared to my life, it should be an
Ease... like easy... cake walk... let's go



I wish I knew why this song, and ICP song of all things, hit me this hard. Normally I fight these feelings but lately, especially after a conversation with someone I thought of as a close friend and the questions and such she forced me to face, this particular song hit me, hard. It did make me wonder, how long can a guy be nice, turn the other cheek, be patient before he snaps, no longer cares and accepts that he's simply a hopeless case, that he has too many problems in life to be genuinely accepted, and should accept is immovable lot in life. Right now I look at this, look at old pictures of frineds past, friends passed on and wonder, did I ever mean anything to them. Did I make a difference to them, or in their day. Did I bring joy, or stir anything in them. Or was I just there, an accessory, or someone meerly tolerated and a conviencnce.

Right now. I don't know, and I wish I did, I wish I had some clue, some direction other than the alone, hated or dead conversation Allen and I had ages ago. As thats my guideline anymore as to my existance. Right now neither is preferable. but when the first two seem prevalant in your life.....when you can't even call on family for the most part without being told you're being a burden or as one family memeber put it, call someone who cares. What is there to do? Where can you turn when all you seem to cause is avoidance and frustrations.

How long do I gotta put on a fake smile and bare it and not show any emotion other than some brief happiness. RIght now. I don't know, and I'm hoping a chilly night walk will shock me enough that a path opens and I figure something out,

Well, seeing as how my old LJ has been bedecked with spam, trolls and the like, and my wanting to get away from those who'd look at me like eww you're into furry. I felt it wise to start a new and with a new persepctive. Some who know me on the friends list and via Steam or AIM know me as Makaze or Seikaze. *waves*

This is really a bit of a butt post. But I'll be positng thoughts, musing etc, and just generally enjoying a few new choices the bunny's made.


Peace